Leo

"It must be hugely exciting, Varadkar being Taoiseach," my barber raved, mid-way through cutting my hair.

"Right," I answered distantly, bewildered, not wanting to be drawn into conversation.

"It will be great for you, I bet you think it's fab," she added quizzically.

"Yep!" I said uneasily, in the vaguest terms possible, to obscure the fact I know next to nothing about politics.

I offered a supportive half-smile, to discourage further probing.

"He'll do no wrong in your eyes, and many others, he has a lot of back-up," she clarified, making it abundantly clear she was referring to his sexuality, chipping away at some inane identity political theory she had contrived in her head.

I sensed annoyance, probably because I was being incredibly uncooperative in indulging her by being the accomplice to the interview.

I winced in disbelief, and chewed on the inside of my cheek.

"Will you be long more?" I said with more authority than I felt, wanting no further business with Nancy Drew's spawn.

"Two minutes," she replied, craning my head back. 

The conversation has echoed through my mind since.

She hadn't a hidden agenda, or a shitty morale. There was no malicious, spiteful, undertone being enforced. I get that. I hear that. She didn't mince her words because she hadn't meant anything in a nasty, patronising way, but maybe that makes it worse? Being so utterly detached from reality is fine, whatever works for you, live and let live, but it's the audacity to try and prevail me into her little nonsensical bubble of oblivion that doubles my dismay.

Sometimes people can be a little too forthright for their own good, and end up saying things that inadvertently offend others.

Her theory wasn't completely unfounded, I can see where or why she might've been steered off-track. Leo had just won the leadership contest of Fine Gael, when the news got picked up by the world's media. It caused waves and a cumulative effect ensued. The international headlines instantly burst out of the gates. The New York Times with its millions and millions of outreach. Then, bam! The Express, The Guardian, Times of India. CBS News broadcast a bulletin on it. Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! To name a select few. In succession a falling row of dominoes knocking each other down, painting Ireland as this liberal, progressive state. On the world stage, there we were being packaged and presented, collecting token brownie points for being so rapidly-changing and diverse. The man was only in the door five minutes and already he was a trailblazer being heaped with praise. Our country was a caricature being lauded for our progression. Every corner of the globe was nodding impressedly and hailing us for shaking off shackles. We were a triumphant symbol for change in the face of previous gloomy political landscapes.

To me, it was a sloppy attempt, poor journalism. They quickly burnt the candle at both ends.

Maybe I'm just a daft little homosexual - who doesn't understand anything, but I always thought the reason we'd want to see anyone in power boiled down to the principle on what they can do for our country?!

Clearly, I've deprived my brain of oxygen by spending too long sucking in and practicing duck lips into the mirror.

Yes, we can celebrate the fact that our leader is a gay man of colour, representation is important, but we can also protest his politics. We've socially evolved, because his sexuality and race aren't barriers to his leadership. This is an intricate and real individual, not a cardboard-cutout. Disagreeing with him, and his actions, doesn't signal a rejection of minorities. In a job like this people care about practicalities over emotion or personal lives.

We tend to think of the media as a mirror that reflects the world around us. But it's really a fairground mirror, which squeezes and stretches and distorts the picture, sometimes to the point where the truth is unrecognisable. It was a convincing illusion. Once you poke the edges though you can see it's fake.

Varadkar is a conservative, so the media storm was, in a way, misplaced confidence in his abilities to put things right. We're not really going to see a massive transformation.

In response to the Hair Stylist, the thing is, you can't just throw any gay on the podium, and expect an army of gay counterparts all to squeal excitedly. Collectively snapping our fingers to and fro, waving man-bags in the air, and flailing our wrists hysterically. Deluded with an off-putting blend of preconceived conceptions and wilful naivete. Weathering hogwash and doing celebratory air punches regardless of personal manifestos. 

No.

He will be scrutinised if he does a flaky job. Any pang of kinship doesn't come into play when making fundamental decisions affecting our country.

In the aftermath of Brexit, we fail to salvage a relationship with the UK? Goddammit. He's just teetering at the edge of fatigue. There was a new episode of Rupaul's Drag Race this week, the man can't do two things at once, c'mon that's just basic math.

Again, no.

He hasn't achieved a single thing he set out to do? There's a surge in the number of people left on hospital trolleys, hitting record highs? Hey! Let's allow him wriggle off the hook. I think he's fab' and that image is so far rooted in my mind he can do no wrong. It's a gay dude in power, this is feckin' ace, Ireland is now tailored to my desires. Everything's coming up roses. I'll stubbornly refuse to see any different. Bumps in the road are just beginner's mistakes.

Same answer. No.

A deal isn't met between the Government and unions on public sector pay? This is total bollocks. Who cares if he's fucking up his duties? He's probably buying skinny jeans in Topman, chillax guys. Don't you dare assign any blame on the unblemished soul. I can get defensively stabby. He is a competent state leader because I have a hunch he drinks Espresso Martinis, and that's what's going to continue anchoring my optimism. Get with it and raise your eyebrows in appraisal.

Yeah.....NO.

The promised referendum on the Eight Amendment is never held? Whatever. It's just a small spanner in the works. I'm basing my values on the likelihood of him enjoying Interior Design magazines. We are so similar! I reckon we'd click. I just know he has the same vibe as me, we would 100% vibe, he's automatically a saint, and duh(!!!) obviously saints get my vote.

Nopity nopity nope.

Okay, he might increase taxes or college tuition fees; he also has bought the latest Britney Spears' album and that's, like, the main thing. You lot are so out of sync with what's important.

Nah-uh. Pass me the bucket.

I don't remember a lot of my female friends being the biggest Hillary supporters, which is strange, because they both wear bras and have vaginas. Plus, they all could've totally bonded with her chatting about shampoo and make-up. They thought Bernie Sanders was a better candidate for the role, it was to do with something silly like policies, I think. But it's a real headscratcher.

Jokes aside. It's this notion, that he could do a plethora of horrible, outrageous things to setback our country and I, or any other gay person, would keep applauding, saluting, and giving him supportive high-fives that pisses me off. No one should be averting their eyes from his flaws. It sends me into a fury that boils blood faster than any cooking implement ever could how someone could think that. We're not a mob of blinded contrarians. The nerve that we'll accept any nonsense, shoot down arguments in his disfavour, hiss angrily and sugar coat everything with our scrambled egg brains is condescending to the highest degree. Because we share one (in this case, irrelevant) characteristic doesn't mean nothing will shake some damn sense into us. He's not going to be shielded from the real brunt of responsibility, if there's more slides than strides he'll be called out. The edges of our vision aren't dimmed.

Heroes take action. He's not going to earn my approval by default. There's no free passes, no riding on the ticket of his sexuality, I'll base my opinion by what he does in office, and how he fares as a leader. 

Mind blown?!

He has to serve us right, we need efficacy, an effective government taking effective decisions, and that's the only thing I'll allow that to stand tall and true. The captain goes down with the ship. He has to not only examine our problems, but wrestle with them and beat them. When we're facing an impassable sea of uncertainty, he needs to be connecting pieces of railroad track and allowing a smooth journey towards moving forward. 

In hindsight, I should've probably just told her to fuck off.

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