Smoky Jokey

My mother has been subsisting as a smoker for the majority of her life with her fixation currently reaching twenty slugs a day. Over the years I have come to learn that living with a cigarette enthusiast does have its perks. Obviously I do not condone smoking and would prefer if my mother was nicotine free but over time I have began to accept, tolerate and respect her habits. Now I'm in a position to poke fun and humour out the given situation and I have gathered a list of 'advantages' a smoking parents includes.

1. You can customarily contain her tantrums and outbursts (this blog-post is delivering the nicest impression of my poor, good-natured 'máthair') so instead of enduring a fifteen minute lecture on the worthlessness of squandering your entire adolescence on the internet you may substitute her rage for a cigarette.

2. A smoking parent redetermines your own hostility for the harmful fixation, I'm confident that I will never follow suit (apart from the odd social drunken haze).

3. Our home is Ireland's prime lost and found capital (literally we have to hand wash socks as every pair we hurl into the washing machine exits the device all lonesome). Consequently if you accidentally part ways with something a doomed treasure hunt is activated for days to no victory. However if you seek to find a lighter for perchance lighting the open-fire or candles then you will forever more discover one lodged in the dining room, our mother's smoking confines.

4. Our smoke alarm is resilient to fumes as our lovable matriarch's smoking has pre-empted its sensitivity. Therefore our three o'clock late night fast-food binges that finish up burnt and fresh air polluting don't result in the awakening of the entire clan meaning we're safe and caught free for now.

5. Socialising on Saturday nights in trendy Ireland typically requires you to worm into the dark, poisonous smoking area of a run-down nightclub/pub. But this doesn't bother us as it isn't too different to home. Especially considering your childhood virtually consisted of the required training to become a fire-fighter in New York city.